Mad, Beautiful Ideas
What WON'T Kids Snort?

Okay, I’ve never been into drugs. There are days I feel like I have enough trouble keeping track of what I’ve done and what I’ve only thought about doing, that I really never really thought something that could possibly make me more absent-minded would be a good thing. Still, I’ve known plenty of people who were into various drugs, and the ones that could keep it to a recreational activity were mostly good people. I didn’t tend to hang around when the activities were occuring, but I didn’t write them off as people either.

Still, this latest thing that kids have supposedly started doing (I pray this is a joke, I really, really do). Jenkem is probably the most vile way of getting high I’ve ever heard of. Breathing in the fumes of fermented fecal matter? There are two reasons I’m pretty sure this won’t work. First, Erowid says nothing about it, and the people over there are usually pretty hip to new drugs. Second, as nasty as the chemicals in sewage are, I don’t think they can cause a high, outside of oxygen deprivation. If they did, wouldn’t septic and sewer guys have to wear oxygen tanks when working?

Still, I understand why this story has gained some popularity. This is exactly the kind of thing that middle school kids would try because they heard it might get them high. I’m not saying that I think huffing fermented sewage isn’t bad for you, but I really doubt it causes an hour of visions (including dead relatives). I suppose it’s possible that the stories are true, and this does cause a problem, but I don’t think any drug is worth the taste of shit in my mouth.